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Location: Kazakhstan

I never seem to run out of things to say.



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and my interests include
cheesecake / life and love / sate/ baileys/ seafood/ pralines/ sheesha/ rollercoasters/ joyriding/ learn to sleep more/ writing/ vodka on the rocks/ menthol puffs/ mixing spices / manila / brunei / miri/ kk / good coffee / "i love you's" / moments / words / rainy days / airports / sunsets / spontaneity / beautiful shoes / food in all its forms / my baby brother / eyeliner / books / sweet SMS's / sucker for anything acoustic / laughter


Things To Do Before I Turn 22
Get that overdue drivers license

Visit a new country

Travel

Learn to cook

Live and love


Beautiful People
My Loved Ones

and you said...



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    While everything around me is ever changing, ever dying, there is underlying that change a living power that is changeless, that holds all together, that creates, dissolves and recreates....For I can see in the midst of death, life persists, in the midst of untruth, truth persists, in the midst of darkness light persists ~Mohandas K. Gandhi Site Fights Spirit Counter

    twenty. loud. addicted to certain fandoms. reads fanfiction. likes to twist the written word. can talk about anything under the sun (and thats the problem). This blog is a compilation of my thoughts and my life...so you know it wont be very interesting. ;)

    Monday, November 28, 2005

    No matter how far you go to party..never forget where u learned how.

    Heres the thing about updating blogs. Blogs make you really reallt vulnerable, in a sense, that whats on your mind gets spilled out onto a medium that could be read by almost anyone, from an ex, to your old 4th grade teacher, to your mom.

    And I have really weird thoughts. You know?

    And Im not so sure of what I think of that right now.

    Boarding a plan to the Philippines in less than 24 hours. =)

    Monday, November 21, 2005


    Someday
    When Im awfully low
    And Im feeling cold
    I will feel a glow
    Just thinking of you
    And the way you look
    Tonight


    24 hours till final exam of the semester.

    Two days till back to Brunei.

    Five days till my dad's birthday.

    Eight days till Philippines.

    And I still havent seen Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire.

    Thursday, November 17, 2005

    "Youre great, you know that?" said he.
    "I have my moments." said she.


    I miss my family.

    I had a hair cut yet again. *sighs* Part of me thinks its because someone used to love my long hair and to cut that person out like totally, I need to cut my hair. Very random, I know, but I dont care.

    Im really proud of my mad biking skillz that I've recently acquired. Its the little things that make you smile and make you feel bursting out with life, flying off in a bike. Im a long way from learning to drive just yet, but for now, Im pretty darn content with biking. Okay, I dont BIKE anywhere, I bike recreationally but lets pretend for a second that its a mode of transport and not just something I indulge in. Haha.

    Okay, so, this little boy who is the son of one of the ladies at the uni canteen just came up and took a picture of me on his phone. He is like, 6, btw. o_0 Funny.

    Two exams down. Two to go. *stress*

    Plans for Draco fest (re: 4th HP film!) and clubbing tomorrow evening. I hope I dont fall asleep during them, because Im really sleepy right now. I hope the film doesnt disappoint.

    The problem with me and my current One Tree Hill fandom is that james lafferty is so very good in the Nathan role, and he gives me hope, even in the fictionalised world that is One Tree Hill, that guys like him? Theres a possibility they exist. That and how Im watching it obsessively during the time I SHOULD BE STUDYING.

    Its astounding how many random blogs I can stumble upon. Sometimes I browse, sometimes I skim, and other times, I chance upon a very interesting one now and again. And its just an eye opener, particularly when its a blog of someone you dont know very well and you are again smacked with the realisation that, oops, theyre actually pretty darn cool. I regret that I havent reached out to a number of people around uni, but part of me is just apathetic about it. Random.

    And here is my complaint about DVD players vs Tape Players. The REWINDING function!!! I mean, gr!! How long does it have to take to rewind? And what if you want to watch something thats in the middle, how do you estimate? You end up overshooting. grr. Unlike simple DVD players, which are just pop in and select the scene. And..okay, just grr.

    I really should go hit the books again. =)

    I want nutellawithcheese! Come visit, I will make it for you guys, and it has to be JUST right, too little cheese and its ewwey and too much nutella makes you sick. Its a science. *nod* =P

    Tuesday, November 15, 2005

    People will disappoint you. I get that. But what about if it turns out youre the disappointment?
    -One Tree Hill


    Kina is here!! Ah!

    Thanks to one of my spunky housemates, Ive been on a steady diet of One Tree Hill season 2 episodes. Its a show that doesnt take so much IQ to appreciate, but more of EQ...and Ill shut up now, i must sound neurotic. =)

    I have had a total of like, 9 hours of sleep spread ove rthe past three days. Im dying. Im so so tired, but I cant sleep. No time. No time! Just naps here and there, which seem to suffice, I hope I dont end up crashing during an exam.

    I've had random meals over the past few days, and my latest easy exam time binge is nutella and Lydia peanut butter on toast. Dont knock it till youve tried it. =P

    I would like to get a pet. Yeah.

    I cant wait to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I cant wait to leave and go to the Philippines. I feel almost claustrophobic around here, and Im always restless and I really really need a change.

    I learned, btw, to ride a bike last nite. Arent you proud of me? ;)

    Tuesday, November 08, 2005

    People need love the most when they deserve it the least.

    This entry is one of bouncing thoughts. I apologise in advance for its strangeness.

    At times I feel like its a slow but inevitable swirling sucking spiral breakdown, this life, but there is beauty in the breakdown, and once you've had it, once you've crashed and burned, the only real way left to go is up.

    There are people who hate their lives so much that they own backup razors. That perplexes me. If you hate your life so much, its a state of mind, dont you think? FInd a way to make it more beautiful, you know? Dont just end it.

    Sometimes, there is that pause in my routine where I go, whats the point? Whats the point? Whats the meaning to it all?

    And then I regret asking that, because I know I'm blessed and I know that life's granted me more leeway than most people. I know that while some things I have were obtained through my own hard works, it must be admitted that the rest of it all must have been because of actions my parents, my brothers, my family, my friends, my associates, someone I met the day before. Like, if I hadnt said that to this person on that day, something wouldnt have happened. Does that make sense?

    Theres an order to this chaos. There has to be. Theres too much order in the randomness for there not to be.

    So I wondered whats the meaning of it all, and my friend and I were bouncing ideas off each other the whole night and we came to the totally obvious conclusion that the meaning of life, its in everything we do. Its in every step we take towards the next moment. Its not a planned play, nor is it a play by play of emotion, its just a gradual progression of day to day, minute to minute, living from one moment to the next. The meaning of life is in everything we do.

    On that note, Im off to return to the fascinating world of futures and options in finance.

    Friday, November 04, 2005

    One day you're going to wake up and realize how much you truly love her, and when that day comes she'll be waking up next to the guy who already knew...

    *blinks in absolute bewilderment*

    I got in, people. I got in.

    If you have no idea what I got in to, then you havent been reading my blog.

    Thanks for all the support, I was so stunned!

    Here's random pictures from my brother's wedding on the 28th of October 2005:

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    Myself, my mother, the newlyweds and my younger brother as the best man.

    Image hosted by Photobucket.com

    Half the people at the wedding. It was a really nice one and Im so happy for my brother!

    Thursday, November 03, 2005

    Now I know what everyone means by “living in the moment.” It’s not about being impulsive or hedonistic, it’s about appreciating life while it's happening, knowing that what you have right now is as good as it gets.

    Happy Raya, all. =)

    In the meantime, I am over-indulging in everything sinful (not THAT sin, you dork), and I am not studying. Bad self.

    Tuesday, November 01, 2005

    "But sorry is the Kool-Aid of human emotions. It's what you say when you spill a cup of coffee or throw a gutterball when you're bowling with the girls in the leage. True sorrow is as rare as true love."

    --from Stephen King's Carrie


    I have these annoying habits I have to overcome:
    1. Condensed LifeSharing Spontaniety- I have this tendency to suddenly vomit words about my life out to complete strangers or even old friends. Its like I want them to know the reasons behind why I am what I am, under the span of ten minutes. I need to realise that not everyone wants to know about my baggage and even if they did, knowing my baggage couldnt possibly have them think of me in a better light if they already had a bad first impression anyway.

    2. Popping every possibly joint in my body- Its true, over the years, I've accumulated this need to crack my knuckles (two in each finger and my toes), my back (yes, all the way across my spine. It isnt a pretty sight or sound), my neck and my ankles. Im sure Ill find more joints as time goes on. And dont arthritis me, its been proven theres no connectiong between this and arthritis. I think.

    3. Surfing blogs/Friendster/livejournal randomly till the dead of the night - Okay, sometimes, its cool, to stumble upon blogs, whether theyre those of someone you know and you find out some fun information or something of relevance, or of some stranger who writes very entertaining entries. You learn something new, you know? But, Izzah, ah, stop wasting time and do something productive. So I do. I leave comments. Or testimonials. Ahahahaha.

    4. Talking to absolutely everyone and anyone - Okay, this habit I cant kick. I love meeting people, everyone always has a story to tell, some information to pass on. I would never have heard about the string ray r.ape (dont ask) or other such things otherwise. If theres a habit I can keep, Im keeping this one. I just have to..know my limit and know when theyre sick of talking to me, thats all. Haha.

    5. Picking out strands of hair and checking them for split ends- *sighs* Yes, I know it makes me look like a monkey, but I usually do it when I am a) bored b) sleepy. Its a habit from childhood I need to GETRIDOFF. Wah.

    6. Sleeping anywhere, through anything- I dunno if its my one dea ear or because Im just well, weird, but I promise you I can fall asleep anywhere, any position, with music blasting and lights on. You might think this is a good thing, but it is honestly not, because this means when Im sleepy, I can fall asleep in CLASS. AHHH!

    7. Checking my phone almost compulsively, even when I know its on silent mode- Heh. Whoops. Its like I fear an important message or call would manage to pass me by.

    8. Using humor and loudness as a defense mechanism - Even I cant explain that one. Its like a weird security blanket. I think if I can make you believe Im funny, you'll look over my flaws. This is a flaw in itself.

    9. Listening to songs and thinking its all about me- This habit makes me memorise that song and then apply it to everyday life and have me then sing it when I can. Its a feel good habit, but when you sing off key like I do, maybe its a habit I need to change, haha. *considers*

    10. Not being punctual- *sighs* I know theres fashionably late, but sometimes I need to like, get a reality check. I always think, theres 5 minutes more, I have time...and then Im late. These are how deadlines just WHOOSH past me. Not good.

    Im sure these habits are just the tip of the ice berg, and maybe I shall impress you with my announcements that I have kicked the habits.

    The wedding, children, was marvelous. And I shall regale you with stories when I have pictures or I have time, whichever comes first.

    The 4th Harry Potter movie comes out very soon. I am excited.